Sunday, July 12, 2009

It was only a dream...

After sitting and crying while reading everyones blogs this week about scary lows and crazy highs I completely lost it...I must of been in some sort of dream world...I really had it in my mind that if I could just hang in there and get past this crazy honeymoon period things would actually get better, we'd find her perfect insulin to carb ratio and we'd be on our way never looking back to all this craziness! Well the dream is now gone and I'm crushed! ********************************************* In other news I forgot to post that Alivia's celiac disease test came back negative! YAY!!! Her 1st A1c...14.1 ummm...not so good

8 comments:

Wendy said...

Oh you WILL get the hang of it, my dear...

but then she'll grow.
or get sick.
or go swimming.
or eat pizza.
or throw a fit.

And you will learn that ups and downs IS the reality. Learning to balance, insulin-activity-food-stress...adjusting this...tweaking that...weighing carbs...

Don't worry.

You're normal :)

In about a year, we'll be hearing how far you've come -- you'll be AMAZED!!!!!

And don't fret the A1c. Remember that it is not an indicator of what a wonderful mama you are...it's just another number in this game of numbers...it's not a report card!!!!!!

Jill said...

I second everything Wendy said!

Your life will be a new sort of "normal" and you will settle in :)

I agree...the A1c is just a number and we tend to beat ourselves up over it and it reflects us as parents...but we have to remind ourselves that no matter how much control over diabetes we try and have...you can't control her pancreas or how her body is going to react to different things so the number doesnt reflect you as a parent. It's a great number for the docs to know how to adjust her needs.

You're doing a great job! We're all hard on ourselves but thats cuz we're all WONDERFUL Moms and we actually care about our kids and their health.

Keep up the great work :)

Shamae said...

A1C days are nerve racking and as much as we feel like we should beat ourselves up over bad numbers...that's not fair because the reality is this disease is relative and doing everything right can still make bad numbers.

You have only been doing this for a very short time. Like wendy said, you will learn that so much affects these numbers and that is the normal. You will learn more about Alivia and things she can tolerate better than other things. You will get there.

The meltdowns are normal too. You are doing great!

Shannon said...

Let your self cry honey! You will need it. But them pick yourseld back up and continue with the good progress you are making!

All the comments you have received are right on the money. There are SO many things that effect the blood sugar and it is sortof a game. But don't let it get you down! Just hug your daughter and tell her that you love her! You would never want her to think that she is a burden on you!

Hang in there! And ask any of us questions if you feel lost!

HUGS!

MaRia said...

Hi there. I came across your blog from my "blog friend" Joanne's. I have tears running down my face after reading your "Diagnosis" post. (The Natalie Grant song playing just added to it!) I have two siblings (now 27 & 34) with JD (diagnosed age 7 & 11) so I have a special place in my heart for those with this rotten disease. Now as a mom, esp. of a little girl right around your daughter's age, my heart breaks for you. Wishing you peace and holding you in prayer until a cure IS found!
mj

Joanne said...

You'll get through it, not only because you have no choice, but because (in my opinion) D Mommas are some of the strongest people that I've met.

And thank you for your sweet commenton my blog, it really meant a lot to me.

KathleenG said...

I've been where you are now. I can tell you along with all the other Mom's of kids with D that you area doing a great job. Diabetes is a crazy disease, but it isn't as strong as us MOMS. You have a right to cry, it is hard to accept. But in a year you will be surprised at how far you have come and you will be a pro and be able to help others who are where you are right now.
Give Alivia lots of hugs and stay strong, you have a whole lot of people in your corner.

Meri said...

It was a hard lesson for me to learn...there are too many variables to ever be in "control" of this thing. Ebbs and flows. It's the little victories that will get you through...like going to the chinese buffet and keeping them under 300 for the night. :)

Great advice from everyone! I'm glad you found me, and now I found you and your community.

Just keep swimming!